College

I am starting to question my sanity. When Rob and I bought our house, I gave myself a year off. A year off of school, trying to further my career, trying to get “ahead”. I lasted four months. I took the leap and applied to two separate programs. I’m crazy nervous.

I pride myself on over-coming a lot of
statistics. I was a 3x high school drop out BUT I managed to graduate (with honours) in 2009. I was a teenaged mother and went on to have my second baby at 23. Not only have I managed to raise two very beautiful children but I never lost custody, my children have the same father and I didn’t rely on the system to support us. I got my first job with the Government. I am pleased to say I’m coming up on my 10 year service award. I was in an abusive relationship but managed to break free and leave. And finally, I was raised by an alcoholic and I’ve managed to break that cycle.

The reason I laid that all out is to remind myself of everything I’ve faced, worked through and overcome. I need those reminders because I am scared out of my mind to go to college. I don’t know why this scares me so much but it does. I worry about not being smart enough, not being brave enough, not being good enough to succeed at this.

At this point in my life, I have no choice anymore. I am 31 years old. I’m no spring chicken. I need to get my rear in gear and get this done. I feel a real need to have something behind my name. Perhaps this is the final “leg” in a journey of proving myself.

I will have to see what this next chapter brings. I hope it brings knowledge, new experiences and new friends. Guess it’s a wait and see situation.

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